In exploring the issues that involve the school adaptation of children, naturally this theme leads us to speak about the theory of attachment of John Bowlby, psychologist, psychoanalyst and psychiatrist, scholar on child development.
John Bowlby (1982), in his theory on attachment, explains that in order for a child to have a healthy psychological-emotional development as a baby, she needs to develop an attachment relationship with at least one primary caregiver, as babies cling to those who are sensitive and receptive to them, until the moment they gain some independence by crawling and walking , so that people familiar to it give them security so that they feel comfortable exploring the environment. However, this moment of detachment will be remarkable and decisive as to the behavioral response that the child will return to the environment. That is, the way parents react to this moment of independence and autonomy of the child may lead to the formation of attachment patterns, which, in turn, can be projected later from their perceptions, emotions and previous thoughts.
Thus, I consider it very relevant that parents are aware that their reactions and behaviors at the moment of momentary detachment and separation mean much more than just actions observed at that brief moment. Such standards of conduct can leave marks for a lifetime.
Why make parents understand the psychological implications of apparently a common theme? After all, how many parents have not gone through this time, so difficult and painful, of having to let go for a certain period of their babies in order to fulfill their daily obligations? Numerous. However, I believe that the vast majority have had difficulties in knowing how to deal with this moment, either with themselves and their emotions, or with their little ones.
Within this context, the most important thing to observe is that there is no correct or wrong way to deal with this process, but rather, a way based on prior knowledge of how such an act may positively or negatively impact the child’s reactions. Therefore, knowing these precepts, the parents of these babies will feel more secure about how to deal with this phase of the child’s life.
Therefore, I recommend to parents that for this phase of school adaptation of their children, they are reference models (mirrors) in their behaviors and attitudes, because the children will replicate them. Therefore, it is important that these models demonstrate security, trust, conviction and affirmation, as they will help you to believe in yourself and develop your independence and autonomy to explore relationships and the environment with confidence and security. On the other hand, insecure and anxious models make children reluctant and avoidable by the unexpected and fearful about the separation of the attachment figure, making the exploratory process of knowledge compromised.
In view of this, parents, it is in mind that the child tends to seek new reference figures that make them feel safe in an external context, not belittling their presence, however, their attitude and positioning towards such actions may help (or not) in the construction of their own personality, behavior and posture towards the outside world.
by Lilian Moitinho
Psychologist and Pedagogue
Bibliographic Reference Bowlby, John. Attachment and loss, volume I, attachment. Available in https://www.abebe.org.br/files/John-Bowlby-Attachment-Second-Edition-Attachment-and-LossSeries-Vol-1-1983.pdf. Accessed 11/20/2019.
